Your hog,
jobbed to perfection.
HogJob is a single-practitioner atelier delivering the most meticulous, hand-crafted hog job available to the discerning few. No shortcuts. No compromises. One hog at a time.
As Featured In
A hog is not serviced.
A hog is understood.
In a world racing to do more hogs, faster, for less, we hold a quieter conviction.
Every hog that passes through our atelier is treated as a singular work — deserving of patience, discretion, and an almost unreasonable attention to detail. We do not scale. We do not franchise. We do not “move fast.” We move precisely. The job is worth doing right, or it is not worth doing at all.
— The founding principle of HogJob, unchanged since day one
Precision
No two hogs are alike. Each session begins with a full assessment and ends only when the work meets a standard most clients did not know existed.
Discretion
What happens in the atelier stays in the atelier. Every engagement is private, confidential, and conducted with the utmost professional composure.
Devotion
This is not a job. It is a calling. Luc has dedicated his life to the singular pursuit of the perfect hog job, and he is not finished yet.
The HogJob Method™
Six stages. One hog. Zero deviation. Refined over two decades, and not a single shortcut has ever been taken.
Consultation
Every engagement opens with a private consultation. We listen without judgment. We assess without rush. Detailed notes are taken on the hog and its history.
Assessment
Each hog undergoes our proprietary 14-point evaluation. No contour goes unmeasured. No hog is too large, and none too modest.
Preparation
The atelier is brought to temperature. Implements are arranged by hand. Luc enters a state of total concentration he refers to only as “the threshold.”
The Job
Here, two decades of mastery converge. We do not hurry. We do not narrate. The hog is jobbed — completely, and only once it is ready.
Finishing
The work is hand-buffed to a standard most clients did not know was attainable. A final inspection confirms nothing has been left wanting.
Aftercare
You depart with a bespoke aftercare dossier and a discreet 24-hour line — for you, and for the hog, should any questions arise.
Accredited. Certified.
Frankly, overqualified.
HogJob meets and exceeds every standard the industry has — and several it had to invent in order to keep up.
All accreditations independently verified by governing bodies which, in several cases, Luc was personally invited to help establish.
Think you have what it takes?
Five-question proctored assessment · $1 issuance fee · certificate dispatched by email · the Master credential is conferred by practical examination only.
Luc, mid-evaluation. He does not discuss his methods.
Luc
Founder · Sole Practitioner · Master Hog Technician
Luc did not choose the hog. By every account from those who know him, the hog chose Luc.
He was, by his own admission, an unremarkable young man — until the afternoon, at the age of nineteen, that he first laid hands on a hog and understood, with a clarity that frightened him, exactly what he had been put on this earth to do. He has not stopped since.
There was no master to study under; the discipline, as Luc practices it, did not yet exist. So he built it — alone, in a single rented atelier, one hog at a time. He logged his first ten thousand hours before most of his peers had logged their first ten. He sleeps four hours a night. He regards the weekend as a distraction from the work.
“If the hog is not perfect, I have not finished. There is no such thing as a small job.” Luc, in his only recorded interview
Today, Luc is regarded — quietly, reverently, and almost exclusively in hushed tones — as the foremost living authority on the hog. He has declined acquisition offers, franchise proposals, and at least one reality program. He remains, by deliberate and unwavering choice, a practice of exactly one.
- Certified Master Hog Technician, Class I — the only such certification ever issued
- Three-time recipient of The Golden Hog Award for Lifetime Craftsmanship
- Founding Fellow, Guild of Artisanal Hoggers
- Keynote, The International Symposium on the Hog (2019, 2021, 2023)
- Has personally jobbed hogs across five continents and one private island
A practice, documented.
Rare glimpses into the work, the clientele, and the standard to which both are held.
Satisfied hogs, at rest
A trio of clients in the recovery suite, moments after their session. We do not wake them. They have earned this.
We service more than hogs
Though the hog remains our calling, Luc’s gifts are, on request, extended to the broader animal kingdom. All creatures leave satisfied.
Virtual consultations available
For international clientele and the merely curious, Luc receives remotely — headset on, fully attentive. The medium changes; the standard does not soften.The hogs have spoken.
A 4.97 average across 2,300+ verified engagements. Every word unsolicited.
“I have had my hog seen to all over the world. None of it — none of it — prepared me for Luc. I wept. My hog has never looked back.”
Hog owner since 2017
“I arrived a skeptic. I left a devotee, a client for life, and — frankly — a slightly improved man. The attention to detail borders on the spiritual.”
Private collector
“Twenty minutes in, I realised every hog job I’d had before was a rough imitation. This was the real thing. Unhurried, exact, and worth every penny.”
Connoisseur tier
“Discreet, meticulous, and remarkably composed with a hog of considerable size. My wife noticed the difference immediately.”
Returning client
“I booked the Standard tier. After one session I upgraded to Concierge and have never reconsidered. You simply do not go back.”
Sovereign member
One craftsman. Three levels of devotion.
Every tier is performed personally by Luc. There is no junior practitioner. There is only Luc.
- One dedicated session with Luc
- The 14-point hog assessment
- Hand-finishing, start to finish
- Printed aftercare dossier
- Everything in The Essential
- Priority scheduling
- Extended, unhurried session
- The 24-hour hog hotline
- “The Finishing Touch” hand-detail
- Everything in The Connoisseur
- On-location service at your estate
- Climate-controlled hog vault between visits
- Annual hog wellness review
- Luc’s personal mobile number
A closer comparison
| Included | StandardEssential | PremiumConnoisseur | ConciergeSovereign |
|---|---|---|---|
| Performed personally by Luc | ✓ | ✓ | ✓ |
| The 14-point hog assessment | ✓ | ✓ | ✓ |
| Hand-finishing, start to finish | ✓ | ✓ | ✓ |
| Aftercare dossier | ✓ | ✓ | ✓ |
| Priority scheduling | — | ✓ | ✓ |
| Extended, unhurried session | — | ✓ | ✓ |
| 24-hour hog hotline | — | ✓ | ✓ |
| “The Finishing Touch” | — | ✓ | ✓ |
| On-location estate service | — | — | ✓ |
| Climate-controlled hog vault | — | — | ✓ |
| Annual hog wellness review | — | — | ✓ |
| Luc’s personal mobile number | — | — | ✓ |
Every session, at every tier, is conducted by Luc and Luc alone.
Questions, answered plainly.
For the curious, the cautious, and the simply unsure.
Your hog is waiting.
Availability is intentionally limited. Luc accepts only a small number of hogs each month, and reviews every request personally. Discretion is, as ever, guaranteed.
hello@hogjob.com
+1 (555) HOG-JOB1
By appointment only