The 14-Point
Hog Assessment™
Before a single hog is jobbed, it is understood. Each hog is measured, mapped, and graded across fourteen proprietary dimensions — a diagnostic protocol refined over fourteen years and protected by law. No hog proceeds without it.
Nothing is assumed. Everything is measured.
Most practitioners begin with the hog. Luc begins with the assessment of the hog — a calm, exhaustive examination conducted before any work is contemplated, let alone performed.
Fourteen checkpoints. Conducted in sequence, never out of order. Each is logged by hand. None may be skipped, hurried, or — under any circumstance — discussed with the hog.
The result is a single, definitive verdict: the hog is ready, or it is not. There is no third outcome, and there is no appeal.
The fourteen points, in order.
Each checkpoint is conducted in strict sequence. To proceed out of order is not merely incorrect — it is, per the filed methodology, prohibited.
Initial Presentation
The hog is observed at rest, unprompted, from a respectful distance. First impressions are recorded but never acted upon.
Structural Integrity
A full survey of the hog's form, line, and load-bearing character. No contour is assumed; each is confirmed.
Symmetry & Proportion
The hog is measured against the golden ratio. Most hogs fall short. We work, without judgment, with what we are given.
Surface Condition
Texture, tone, and finish are evaluated under controlled, flattering light. Blemishes are noted; nothing is held against the hog.
Temperament
The hog's disposition is gauged. A nervous hog requires a different hand than a confident one, and Luc has both.
Responsiveness
Gentle, non-committal stimulus establishes the hog's baseline reactivity. Findings are logged, not discussed.
Thermal Profile
Surface and core temperature are recorded. A warm hog is a willing hog; a cold hog is simply not ready.
Hydration Index
Adequate hydration is non-negotiable. A dry assessment is no assessment at all, and we will not pretend otherwise.
Range of Motion
The hog is articulated slowly through its full range, to establish its limits well before they are ever approached.
Acoustic Signature
The hog is permitted to vocalize. Its register, timbre, and volume are noted for the permanent record.
Tolerance Threshold
Pressure is introduced incrementally until the hog indicates. We always — without exception — stop one increment early.
Aromatic Assessment
Conducted last among the sensory checks, and with great discretion. Luc says very little during this phase.
Provenance Review
The hog's history and prior servicing, if any, are examined for irregularities, neglect, and the work of lesser hands.
Final Disposition
All thirteen prior findings are synthesized into a single verdict. The hog is either ready, or it is not. Luc decides.
A methodology, protected.
The 14-Point Hog Assessment™ represents fourteen years of uncompromising refinement — one point per year, by Luc's own account, though he concedes some years produced two and others produced none.
In 2019 the protocol was formally registered as the exclusive intellectual property of HogJob Atelier. It is protected, in perpetuity, across every jurisdiction that formally recognizes the hog.
Reproduction of this methodology, in whole or in part, by any practitioner, apprentice, or curious party, constitutes infringement. Our counsel is retained, well-rested, and — like everyone at HogJob — singularly focused on the hog. They have been instructed to act first and assess later.
Every hog receives a grade.
At the conclusion of the fourteenth point, each hog is assigned a single, final classification. It is entered into the record and shared with no one.
Exemplary
A rare hog. Proceed without reservation, and with quiet admiration.
Satisfactory
A sound hog. Proceed under the standard protocol. Most hogs land here, and there is no shame in it.
Provisional
A hog with potential. Proceed, but with heightened care and a watchful eye.
Not Yet Ready
The hog requires further assessment, and possibly reflection. We will wait. We are very good at waiting.
Every session begins here.
There is no servicing without the assessment. Reserve your session, and let the fourteen points do what they were patented to do.
Reserve Your Session